🤯 Entitled children aren’t born; they’re made. This mindset grows from how we parent, like setting up rewards or managing our kids’ relationships. Sometimes, we do this without realizing it—like giving a phone to stop tantrums or making excuses for their behavior.
These actions might seem like quick fixes, but they send wrong messages to our kids.
But what if we flipped the script?
Instead of using instant rewards or excuses, we can teach values like patience, responsibility, and perseverance. It’s about finding the right balance between supporting them and letting them learn from mistakes. The goal is to raise kids who understand effort, respect, and adaptability.
The Bribe Trap 🍦
Using bribes to get kids to cooperate teaches them that doing things should come with rewards. This makes them less interested in doing things for themselves. Life’s big achievements often take time and effort before rewards come. This can make adults see relationships and actions as transactions, leaving them unprepared for life’s unfairness.
Emotional Responsibility 😢
Making a child responsible for someone else’s feelings teaches them to prioritize others over themselves. This can lead to self-sacrifice and a belief that others control their emotions. It sets them up for unmet expectations and emotional struggles.
The Sharing Dilemma 🎮
Forcing kids to share can confuse ownership and control. While sharing is good, forcing it can lead to unhealthy dynamics. Some kids might take advantage, while others feel guilty or pressured to give.
This can make them believe they’re entitled to others’ things or feel guilty for keeping things for themselves.
Understanding Entitlement 🤓
Entitlement is a real concern, but blaming blindly is dangerous. Younger generations need guidance that understands and adapts. Parents should avoid comparing or shaming kids because today’s world is different.
Updating parenting to focus on ripple effects teaches kids that inner peace is the only thing we’re truly entitled to. ❤️
Habits That Foster Entitlement
1. Always Giving in to Their Demands
If your child expects a toy every time you visit a store and you give in to avoid a meltdown, they start believing they are entitled to it.
“Fine, you can have ice cream, just stop whining.”
What they learn: If I whine, I’ll get what I want.
2. No Set Boundaries or Consequences
When there are no repercussions for breaking rules, kids assume rules don’t apply to them.
“It’s fine, you can watch one more show.”
What they learn: Rules don’t apply to me.
3. Over-Praising for Every Small Thing
Excessive praise for minor tasks can make kids expect rewards for the bare minimum.
“You finished your homework! You’re the smartest!!!”
What they learn: I should be praised for everything I do.
4. Solving All Their Problems
“I’ll talk to your teacher and fix this.”
What they learn: Someone else will always solve my problems.
5. Comparing Them to Others
“You’re so much smarter than the other kids.”
What they learn: I’m better than others and deserve special treatment.
6. Letting Them Avoid Challenges
“If it’s too hard, I’ll do it for you.”
What they learn: I don’t need to push through struggles.
7. Fulfilling All Their Desires Immediately
When kids get what they want without waiting, they lose patience and develop unrealistic expectations for instant gratification.
8. Not Teaching Empathy
If children aren’t encouraged to think about others’ feelings, they grow up focused solely on their own needs.
Shifting the Narrative
Here are practical ways to avoid raising entitled kids:
- Encourage Perseverance: “I know it’s tough, but I believe you can figure it out with more effort.”
- Teach Patience: “Let’s wait together, or bring a book next time.”
- Hold Them Accountable: “I understand you’re tired, but you’re responsible for your actions.”
- Promote Flexibility: “I know you don’t feel like going, but we’ve already made plans, and we need to stick to them.”
- Encourage Intrinsic Rewards: “You must feel really proud of finishing that homework on your own!”
- Set Clear Boundaries: “Bedtime is at 8 PM. Sticking to rules is important.”
- Limit Material Rewards: “Let’s celebrate your achievement without buying anything.”
- Teach Empathy and Kindness: Use moments like sharing toys or helping a friend to highlight the importance of understanding others’ feelings.
Correcting Entitlement
If you’ve noticed entitled behaviors in your child, it’s not too late to make changes. Here are some strategies:
- Teach Appreciation: Help them value what they have by making special items a reward for effort or good behavior.
- Set Clear Rules and Consequences: Ensure they understand limits by following through with appropriate consequences when rules are broken.
- Praise Effort, Not Just Outcomes: Focus on their hard work and growth, not just the result.
- Encourage Delayed Gratification: Teach them to wait or work for something special, not to give it to them instantly.
- Promote Problem-Solving Skills: “How do you think you can fix this on your own?”
- Model Responsibility: “I have a deadline, so I need to focus. Let’s play later when I’m finished.”
- Balance Praise with Feedback: “I’m proud of your effort. What’s something you think you could improve next time?”
By embracing these approaches, we can raise children who value effort, respect others, and develop a healthy sense of accountability. It’s never too late to shift the narrative and help our kids grow into empathetic, responsible adults. 🌟
