“Outside Mama,” said my then two-year-old son.
His instincts are right I think; life is better outside.
His enthusiasm and joy are contagious so without a second thought I ditch our schedule and surrender to the flow my son is about to create.
We rake the backyard, dig for worms, and study ladybugs.
“Are we done, buddy? Inside now?” I ask.
“No Mama,” he says pointing to the back gate that leads to the park, “Bat and ball”.
My son confidently leads the way.
We arrive at our local park and start tracking dinosaurs.
We head up to the diamond and play baseball in the fading afternoon light.
We play hide and seek in the adjacent woods with a little boy and his Dad.
Then the park becomes quiet as the other kids go home for dinner.
Our adventure leaves me feeling calm and peaceful as if I’ve been meditating. I had no appreciation for how far his imagination would take us; his curiosity and slow pace reminded me of the power of simplicity. I find myself craving more.
I often feel as though I need to entertain my son. To stimulate him. To enrich his days. But he’s proven that if I hand him the reins, he’s got this.
And what’s more – he’s ready to take me on his adventures. What a privilege it is to be included in his imaginary world. A simple afternoon where not much happened was exactly what we both needed.
In a culture that glorifies busyness, it is a radical act to choose less over more, to prioritize slowness over productivity, to surrender to being present for life’s small inconsequential ordinary moments.
Yet, we know we need to do it. We know that simplifying childhood protects our children’s mental health. Slowing down feeds our souls and nurtures our families and no matter what parenting style we choose; this topic unites us.
When our kids are overwhelmed, we have the power to silence the white noise of society, and give them time and space, to say ‘no’ when pressured to say ‘yes’.
So, here are eight practical tips to bring more presence, purpose, and peace into your home.
1. Conquer the clutter (starting with the toys)
It may seem counterintuitive but the fewer toys kids have, the more they play. With fewer toys and less clutter, they can better see and appreciate what they have. It becomes easier for them to immerse themselves deeply in imaginative rather than superficial play.
2, Simplify (and filter) adult information
While it is healthy for children to be aware of the world around them, we need to be conscious that it is only on a scale that they can cope with. We need to safeguard against age-inappropriate information which will not “prepare” our kids for the world but rather alarm and paralyze them if they feel helpless to effect change.
3. Minimize the screens (starting with our own)
Perhaps the most powerful influence we can have is to model the behavior we’d like to see by reducing our own screen time. So, I’ve started setting rules for myself. I don’t reply to texts immediately unless it’s urgent. Emails can wait. And social media updates will be there later. Out of sight, out of mind works well for me so I hide my phone…from myself. And using flight mode is my new best friend.
4. Use a new love language
The five love languages are words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. Most of us experience love through all of these languages but often one or two are dominant. Giving and receiving gifts can be a wonderful expression of love but I wonder if our consumer-driven society is allowing it to monopolize our relationships.
5. Add simple pleasures
On your next hike or trip to the beach collect shells, leaves, moss, stones, and acorns. Bring the outdoors inside and create nature baskets or tables, to examine and play with later. Both Montessori and Waldorf encourage nature tables for kids to learn, interact with nature and the seasons, and immerse themselves in an interest they’re passionate about.
6. Simplify the rhythm of life
In Simplicity Parenting, Kim John Payne describes daily life as a song, with both high and low notes. The high notes are school, sports practice, and music lessons. The low notes are walking the dog, getting ice cream with Dad, or playing catch in the backyard. We must build in regular low notes for our kids to rely on as a release of tension.
7. Go outside
Spending time with children outside is never a mistake. Nature provides endless possibilities for healthy stimulation, creativity, and confidence building. In his compelling book Last Child In The Woods, Richard Louv, exposes the growing divide between children and nature. He suggests that “nature-deficit disorder” is directly linked to conditions such as obesity, attention disorders, and depression in today’s wired generation.
8. Minimize schedules
With kids being carted from one activity to the next and often watching devices on the way, they’re constantly stimulated. Payne says, “A child who doesn’t experience leisure or better yet, boredom will always be looking for external stimulation, activity, or entertainment” By prioritizing time for free play over organized activities we foster creativity, self-reliance, and happiness.
